New LBH with WAW/possibly WW, need help.

[nutts]

You said early on that your W's reasons for being unhappy was the lack of sex and your inattentiveness. You said that you had "dealt" with it before. How?

I think you mis-read, I have not dealt with it before. Rather, after W told me ILYBNILWY, I introspected and saw how obvious it was she wasn't happy. I realized I wasn't spending near enough time with her and doing things with her, we weren't communicating well at all, and also realized I had a problem, and it turned out porn was the cause of (low libido, difficult to get erection during sex, etc. lots of info online about this) which caused our sex life to be non-existent!

Once I came to these realization, I immediately studied how to overcome the porn problem (haven't looked nor touched myself since BD), and I opened up to W about all the issues. I admitted I played a huge part in her being unhappy (this was before I learned about the A), and I was going to work on me. And, at that point, I decided I'd get myself better.

The one thing that sticks me is, one of my problems was I didn't spend time with my W, nor communicated well; however, following Sandi's 37 rules, I do even less of that (little communication, and little time spent with her). I understand the point of Sandi's rules, and I think I have follow them to get her respect back, but at what level?

So, I am trying to better myself, and GAL. When I get DB/DR, I'll dig deeper.

Thanks.