Well, I have always thought - and I do think from what you post - your XH is a clinging boomerang/kitty MLCer. He isn't horrid to you, he feels bad, he wants affirmation from you - but he doesn't actually want to take solid steps back into the M. He wants you there (and not with anyone else) but doesn't actually want to be in the M just now. He's half in and half out even though you are D.
Ugh, horrid to have read that stuff, and I still get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's a typical MLCer type action to leave stuff like that in YOUR garage - eek..
So, he will do what he will do. He may be partly in and partly out for a week, month, year, ever... That's up to him. What you choose to do and how you interact with him is up to you. You can choose to have minimal contact if that works for you - or you can choose to spend more time with him. But the key is - what works for you. Choose the course which promotes happiness and steadiness within yourself and for your kids and follow that. Choose compassion, but have boundaries.
Glad to hear you are moving forwards, and exciting if there is a job change afoot too...
Lots of love and big hugs from me Sweetheart xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
xx