I actually just got back from an appointment with our MC...no matter how hard the MC tried to direct my wife into saying she was willing to try and work on our marriage...it didn't happen.
One of the DB rules when a spouse (badly) wants out of the M is No Relationship Talks, because at that point they are unlikely to help. Unless both partners are on board for working on the M, MC is not likely to help either. Actually it hurts, because it's more pressure on the spouse who is convinced they want out.
I'd seriously consider ending MC for now. And suggest giving W lots of space. Actually, that's what I did when I was in your spot because I could see where our MC sessions were leading: To D!
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She said that there was not way that she would ever have intimate feelings towards me again and that she never has. What a stab to the heart.
I heard the exact same thing, this is common script. They have to rationalize leaving us. Yes, a devastating stab to the heart. But this is how she feels now and feelings can change. Your job right now is to still be around when they do! Can you do this for your M and your kids?
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She says that we have been best friends and have raised 3 wonderful kids...but that she feels no passion for me.
More script that I heard too. Hard as it is, you have to try to not take it personally. You know in your heart she loved you all those years. If she is now in a life crisis, she is in tremendous pain and only looking for a way to end it.
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I will get myself back to the gym and continue what I started.
Good plan. Try to focus on other activities you enjoy also.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
