Originally Posted By: PsySara

This is a process that never truly ends. I find I like myself better when I am kind and quick to say I am sorry. Strangely enough this resulted in my WH becoming soft towards me and for him to start doing the real work of reconciliation. Before when I was making my demands and ultimatums he would only half @ss participate, and grudgingly at that. Now he actively asks what he can do to make me feel safe.


I think you are doing the right thing. I can argue with my husband and he doesn't always like that, but I just don't have it in me to be mean and even if at a particular time my husband isn't open to respond, at least I feel I am doing the right thing and I am not escalating the situation. When he is angry, I remind myself that God will judge me for how I treated him, not how he is treating me, and that motivates me. You have to be yourself as you say, because to a big extent that is why they stayed with us all this time so far.