The Fight For Self III

[mulesqb]

I know more about what I don't want right Mules than what I do want. That's a big problem you have just helped me identify. Let m get back to you on that. I need to put some serious thought to this.

I think this is a serious mistake everyone makes. Whether consciously or subconsciously, the journey becomes adversarial. "I will show my WW what he/she is missing". You make your changes to improve yourself and like you, meet a lot of your goals.

Now what?

For me, it was easy. I wanted full custody of my boys and become the best father I can be to them. My XW made the rest easy as well. She had a PA which was a non-negotiable deal breaker for me. I didn't have to get caught up on what I didn't want.

But after much thought I focused on my next R. What would that look like? I realized that there was a lot in my old M that wasn't what I thought it was. Compatibility, friendship, intimacy on an equal level. I then decided that my next R was going to be focused on someone who I love AND I like. I think for me that was the key. I loved my XW but not so sure I liked her a whole lot. And trust me, I get that the feeling was mutual. She probably realized it way before I did. I was way more equipped to be a parent than she was. She wanted independence. I liked to travel, she hated it. I crave intimacy with the person I love, she could do without. All things she faked to appease me during our courtship.

Take your time. Think about what you want. What you truly want. What does your ideal life as a parent with shared (?) custody look like? Maybe you need some casual relationships for a while.

You hit the big point, not me. We tend to focus more on what we don't want (out of anger?) then what we truly want. You did a lot hard work so far. I do a lot of basketball coaching I always ask my kids at halftime if we're winning, what have we accomplished so far?? The answer is half the job.

Keep going CT..go play a complete game.


Strength and Honor.


Mules