Vey detached, no longer anxious, in limbo

[Vanilla]

So, just when I was thinking that the worst things that might happen already had, I discovered today that I was wrong. Despite financial restraining orders, today I found that my joint accounts (supposedly protected by the courts, and limited legally to only normal expenditures) were gutted. I went to pay a lousy little power bill, only to find that my balances had dropped by over 90%. My lawyers said he couldn't do such a thing, and yet I'm looking at nearly nothing in my accounts.

Phoebe, I haven't been posting here much recently and I have kept up with your posts. Truly this is awful and you don't deserve it. Yes I get it. The Giggalo has done this too and it's criminal behaviour. Not only that but he wants to sue me for the money he paid into joint accounts to pay bills. And he lives in Italy whilst pretending to be in the UK. Lies and mirrors and deception. This isn't about me but about scummy behaviour of a Wakward WAS.

Please my lovely one, get this to contempt of court or equivalent. If your jurisdiction is like mine then contempt of court will mean leaving and returning are monitored by immigration. Whatever your L can think of to get this dreadful thing before the court.

Awful, awful, awful behaviour of an entitled wayward.

Please take action asap.


So, suffice it to say that I am having a hard time again.

I am not surprised in the slightest and of course entirely understandable.

My last remaining shred of trust in WH is now gone entirely, my financial security, toward which I worked and scrimped for 25 years, is hanging by a thread (on the hope that the money might eventually be recovered), and I just feel so utterly confused, hurt, angry, violated.

Time for action Phoebe, if he has pensions or other schemes get them frozen. That is my choice with the Giggalo. Whilst he lies and schemes, I go for his pension schemes. I have also had the court moved to my jurisdiction at my convience not his. He is abroad and he has no rights of court choice.

These are snake behaviours of untrustworthy sneaks in the night. Side winding snake behaviours.

I abided by the court orders, never tried to hide anything, didn't sell anything, didn't give away his belongings, steal any of our money, etc. I've been taking the high road, and WH has been taking the low road at every single turn, including this major fork in the road. It takes a unique kind of person to.ehave this way.

I am going to call it, for me this is anti social behaviour. No pussyfooting with mlc foggy stuff. It's full on entitlement and a complete breach of the legal orders. It's nasty, mean and he could get criminal charges. You may wish to consider that route. No more Ms Nice Girl, time to get the gloves off.

He is the one that cheated, did drugs, invented and acted out a fantasy life, ripping up my hopes and dreams, and breaking my heart. And apparently, that wasn't enough. He had to go and try to destroy what financial stability I had left. It's heartless,
and cruel, calculated and callous. WTF?

No its theft and legal breaches. For his own shifty little selfish ego. And it's about him, his compulsive needs and this sounds so ridiculous when written but it is that which I believe - it isn't about you or destroying you directly. It's about him, his scabby needs and wants. Selfish jerkdom.

I wonder what I possibly did to warrant such ill will.

Absolutely nothing. You are blame free this is his arse hole behaviour. Sneaky stuff to maintain his facade for a short period of time.

Why someone who ever claimed to love me could steal from me, and steal so much. My long term financial security is in serious jeopardy. Yet another thing I never imagined.

Phoebe, you can't conceive of this because it is not in your nature at all to even contemplate it. Another measure of how your values are solid. I just wish I could reach though this screen and give you my very best rainbow hug. Know this, you are very special and stronger than you know. There are rough times ahead, of course. I know, I have the T shirt and this isn't going to be easy or comfortable. It's distressing rough and truly horrible. That's the bad bit and troubling.

My trauma has gone on for 2 years and continues. With NC it helps but part of it is, what is going on that I can't see, what is coming next? What comes from left field. Expect anything anD get those defences in place. And NO REACTION to anything, even if accused of the most ridiculous things or provoked. He may try to sweet cycle you back in. Or he may try to trigger behaviour he can point to counter balance his (or so he thinks).

Phoebe, you are going to be strong through this. You have you and your soul. Time to get real tough on that wayward and to defend yourself. Really get this behaviour and action to account and stopped by all fair and legal means.

I say this to you, some things are unforgiveable and you do not have to forgive. Especially if no forgiveness is asked for. This isn't about revenge but about legally enforcing the boundaries set by the court that were agreed. It's monstrous and no excuses or rationalisations will take that away. This is defense not revenge.

So sleep's a problem again, but I think I may finally be able to catch some Zssszz now that it's nearing 4 am. is afraid STBXH is going to flee the country, or maybe already has. I have to admit that possibility that he might do so has occurred to me, as well. A person has to be off their rocker to violate a court order so blatantly.

No, they have to be an entitled jerk wad, and consider they are above the law.

Lack of sleep is awful and I get the worry, anxiety and shock. It can and will interfere with sleep. I have no platitudes to offer you Phoebe, none. I haven't found the cure for my distress, PTSD or sleeplessness. All I can offer you is empathy and to walk with you on your path. With a little fire and a soft heart to listen.

I can't say it's going to be ok because none of us know that. I can say you can get to the other side with the help and support of the wonderful DB posters. And anything you go through now would be an improvement on the damage of a further 10 years or 15 etc. And I hate saying that as it seems to invalidate your experience, I sense that's true for me so seems appropriate to say. Thank God that phase is over, trite though it seems.

Know I am offering you my rainbow strength if you want it.

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In essence my lovely Phoebe, I lend you some fire to protect yourself with. And a little empathy.

Honey, it hurts so much, walk to the pain, rant and tell us all about it. Take action against this wassock behaviour.

This has nothing, nothing to do with you, you truly don't deserve this, not one jot of it.

V