Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 5)

[JRuss]

Back now from the Beach with the kids. It was great. Not perfect -- they bickered quite a bit, and I find myself losing patience when they do that (need to keep working on it) -- but still great. The weather was perfect. We ate lots of fun things, hung out, played board games in the evenings, I let them stay up late.

I didn't speak a whole lot with W. Mainly just let the kids call her if/when they wanted to, and we'd occasionally speak very briefly as the phone was being passed around. She didn't initiate any of the calls, and by the last night, the kids didn't seem to feel a need to talk to her, so I just went with that. I find myself really struggling to relate to her mindset, as I fight through the fear of what it will be like when I lose 50% of my life with my kids while simultaneously watching her seemingly relish the coming reduction in parental responsibility.

Back home last night to the same unchanged situation. Cordial roommates, sleeping in separate bedrooms, with me struggling alone in mine, wishing I could figure out how to reverse all of this negative momentum but not being able to do anything, stressing about "being the lighthouse", etc. Tomorrow is our first MC session. I'm pretty nervous. I have IC today and hope to talk to her about how to be best conduct myself, because I'm pretty clueless. I know not to have any expectations, but it's hard not to wonder if we couldn't be one of those couples that seems to genuinely benefit from counseling.

I need to catch up on others' sitches; I'm hoping for good developments for everyone.