I will reply to the q you asked me. I had a feeling you could have been hiding behind your words. Painting a superficial fantasy to cover reality. But it could as easily just been that you are more elegant/poetic in your choice of words. I posed my question to be sure.

You have many friends and followers here. Before retreating to ponder on things alone, could you do two things for me:
1. Elaborate on this anger and the incident where you want to cut a friend.Cut someone where I come from means slice with a knife, though it could be used to signify dump/remove from your life. I hope you meant the latter.In which case, I will say that you get to chose who is in your life and what is acceptable. Sometimes that does mean excluding someone we would prefer not to. Do what is best.
2. Remember this board and its members are here for you when you want/need us. You have helped many here. But now look after yourself.

Best wishes


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together