Detached, getting along better, but in limbo....

[Surfer]

Thanks Ginger.

Thought provoking as usual. Also, can't sleep. Woke up at 3am following a dream I was being manipulated by W's wayward friends. Can't sleep now.

He only started football last week - give me a break (LoL). Whilst this is true, he did do football before but it started at 3 or 4 pm so I could not make it as I was at work in the City. Now it's at 6pm and I have left that job and set up by myself - so I can work from home and be more available for things like this, I will probably do the football at 6 each week, lets see. My W may want to do it too so I need to be careful not to ride roughshod over what she wants. But I also don't want her using this time to ignore D8 and just text OM - but I can't control that and need not to care.

Yes my rewards will come from the kids but appreciation is always welcome as you made clear. I need to show her I appreciate what she does here too. It's just polite. I haven't always done this enough re:kids clubs etc. Having said that I don't get thanked for how hard I work, only once in 12 years. I don't know if that's a 180 you could do too? Guys like that one. Not holdin my breath for my W's 180 - ha ha.

Oh and on the "wife usually does it" - I ask if I can help. But get told no. I used to get told don't ask just do it. That didn't work either on anything from washing up to cleaning. I was told no I can't whilst others could happily help....apparently it would get thrown back at her. I did twice raise the house being a mess when I came home and she was not working - but soon learned that was a mistake. So I am not perfect. I have certainly not been the guy that rushes back to my pinnifore when I finish a 10 hour days and the W is at home. But I was not a slouch. You are right though, even if she thinks I was - good 180 opps all round.

One thing I never did was organise a holiday. I'd love to do that, if its way too early. Anyway, I would only invite the W not the WW so got to see if she can make it back yet. I need to find the W that wants time with her H over her girlfriends first and that will be a real challenge - her wayward advisers. That's why I think less financial support may help. Don't get me wrong, I want her and the kids to have a happy life. I am just not funding 4 holidays a year anymore at least 3 with the girls and one just with the girls and no kids. It's time for reality to bite I think. Tricky though as I don't want to upset progress. But is it progress or W being nice as she is getting plenty of financial freedom and a safe plan B? Mmmm tricky.

Surfer.