Turn it around. If you didn't fight for your marriage, and you gave her what she "thinks" she wants, then would you have any chance of saving it? If somewhere down the line she changes her own opinion about the marriage, she's more likely to come back if she knows you wanted to save it than if you had given up, as she would think you gave up because YOU wanted to give up, not because it was what she wanted. And remember, she always has the right to leave you, so why is she expecting you to do it? I often feel my husband says, You can have a divorce if you want to have one in order to hear me say I don't want one. No matter how angry he seems at the time.
Hi 2Lady! The problem is the harder we try to pull them back into the M, the more they want out. We can and should let them know that it's not what we want, but if they want out they're free to go. Applying any pressure to stay is counter productive. Yes, we do "fight for our marriage" but we do so by following the DB plan.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
