Focus on Me and the Boys 9

[J5K]

Hi Jim,

I saw your reply - it was sort of moot since you have decided to give it some time.

It sounds like a very confusing time for you. I can see you have a lot of different moving parts to relate to, legally, practically and emotionally. Are you seeing an IC for yourself? I think it would be good for you to talk to someone and map out your options.

I have been seeing an IC. The same one who did MC for STBX and I. She has asked me to call anytime I need to talk and have multiple times. I told her I was going to take some time before the move and she understood that I would do it for the boys well being long term. Yes, still confused since there are many moving parts. The M is done, the question is how do I make it more positive without STBX wanting to still control me. How do I get STBX to respect me? I know how, it is just emotionally upsetting. If I move maybe (and that is a big maybe) it would be better.

I get your urge to go to court and be honest about how you feel about your M. I'm a little surprised that for the insane amounts of money you are paying the L, you're not getting better information and preparation for the process. Did the L not tell you that you and WW needed to be there for this? I'm sure you're getting charged for the L's time, right?

Yes, I am getting charged for L's time. Not all of it though as she is a friend, but still pricey.
I guess the way L and I saw it was that since STBX did not want to come down, STBX and her L wanted to push for my L and I to go and finalize things. STBX is the plaintiff and wants this D so she should be the one to close the case on record. I agreed with what my L said. My L tends to bring fear into the equation saying STBX will take advantage of me if I move to Canada and since the laws are different she cannot advise. So I do my own research.

Might be time to get a consultation with a Canadian L.

IDK, I could bring a whole new twist to this and say this is fixable to the judge and say my peace. I don't think that would change STBX's mind, but it would definitely not make her look good in the courts eyes.

Have to analyze and do some more research on custody in Canada. One day at a time.