WHs do come back--Piecing--acceptance & time

[Sotto]

From what I see on the forums, it is pretty unusual for a WAS to start looking back to the marriage within months. I saw Wonka post once that nine months was at the shortest end of the timescale. And then we see situations. I think Crimson was one - where it has been two or more years before significant movement.

I think the key issue is that the LBS often works through a lot of stuff during that time - with no sign of hope from the WAS. Or perhaps the WAS completes the D process. All the time with little hope given. And after all of this, sometimes the WAS begins to regret and truly feel what has been lost. But I don't think that really happens until the loss is truly felt. And I don't think the loss is truly felt until the LBS is really moving on and appears to be closing the door. I don't think we can really pretend to close the door, I think it is when we genuinely get to that point, that things can change.

Of course some situations are 'unsalvageable' at BD and will never turn. And I think all will look that way - but some do later turn, we just can't predict which.

And if there is MLC as a factor, that extends timescales further. I'm not wanting to depress anyone - only highlight the need to really move forward with your own life. There is nothing to lose by doing that. It's a win-win, and may even draw the WAS back - but that's a bonus...xx