A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

FG, that's the part that drives me nuts. I get that it's 50%, or even 60%, my fault for the issues we had in our MR. I've got no issue accepting that blame and like everyone else here I'm actively working to fix it.

The part that's maddening is our Ws accept 0% of the blame. It's 100% our fault. I'm waking up to the reality,though, that my W won't ever change that view. Unfortunate, but it may just be reality.

I'm very apprehensive about the talk with my D. Part of me wants to put it all on my W, but I know my D will need my support and I want her to hear it from me as well. Add to that the spin I'm sure my W will impart to it and we've got some work to prepare for telling her.

W last night got on me for wanting to watch how she blow dried Ds hair. D has long hair and being a guy I was worried I would be unprepared to help if D needed me. W approached me after we put D down, a welcome change, and we discussed. She called it creepy that I'd watch her blow dry Ds hair. I thought that unnecessary. Whatever.

She drove the conversation towards me after that. Said I'm angry and annoyable all the time. She put off on me that we need to get along with each other to co-parent in the future. I let her know that I'm ok with having any conversation she'd like to havr, but again she's got to get over the anger and resentment she's harboring. She shrugged it off and told me to talk to my therapist about my anger issues. Geez....

I did tell W that I wanted to know how to help with Ds hair by "there will be times during the 7 day window she's staying with me" when I may need to help D. W shrugged it off with that's not how it works in our state and it will never be like that. I let her know I would not accept anything less than 50% and left it at that.

Have the day off today so I got up at 5:30, my new normal wake up time, and headed for the mountains for some hiking. 10miles of no people and just woods was awesome. Felt good to get away and.clear the head for a bit. Had a text from W waiting when I got back. To summarize:

W mad be she can't figure out how to log into mint.com account. D mad bc W says I promised I'd take her to the bus stop today, a week ago. I told W I wouldn't be there this am, she said nothing. D said nothing about me taking her yesterday. I remember nothing about it either, and I'm ultra sensitive to commitments now a days.

I'm waiting in the park near the house to go get D from the bus stop now. I'll talk to D about it and apologize if I'm wrong. At this point I'm wondering if W is making this stuff up and leading D to incorrect conclusions. Or if I'm just losing my mind and memory. I'm betting the former, but we will see.

Should have no trouble sleeping tonight, unlike the past couple nights. FG, appreciate your thoughts above! Hang in there brother!