Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #5]

[albac]

Hi Gump,

Just thought I would check in and see how you are going. It seems you are still going through the motions and feeling down and out. Stay strong and it will get better. You know what Gump I am actually sick of saying the same things to people on this forum the same as they have all done for me in the past.

Let's face it the words of encouragement and people telling us that time makes things better brings very little comfort or relief when we are still in the midst of feeling down and out and that all is lost.

I wanted to share with you where I am at now, as we both began this journey around he same time and we're going through the same struggles with one major difference you were still living with your W.

It has now been almost 9 months since my W left and she has been in a "relationship" with OM for about 4 months now. Wow how time flies. Anyway over the last 9 months I have been brought to my knees more times then I count and truly has been the worst year of my life to date but there is an upside.

In the last 2 months since I finally dropped the rope and conceded she was gone and there was not a damn thing I could do about it I now feel so much better!
I sleep full nights now and rarely think about what my W is doing and truly do not want anything to do with her in her current state. Don't get me wrong I still very much love her and would love for her to realize what she has done and become a better person but I am at a point now in my life where I realize this change will take a long long time and may never come.

I am now ok with the fact she is off on her own journey finding what she wants in life and if that's not me then I am happy for her to find what works. I do not NEED or WANT someone that does not care about me. It me 9 months to corn to the point where I truly believe this and that deep gutted fear and want that I had for my marriage and my W is gone and I can see everything so much clearer.

The reason I am sharing this with you Gump is it is like a cliff. The changes weren't gradule over 9 months, it just got to a point where I was beat down so bad, then it all started to make more sense and I began to focus on me and my own life and how I don't want to waste another second of feeling sorry for myself.

I guess my point of all this. Time DOES heal. Things DO get better, if someone is stupid enough to to not want you, be smart enough to let them go. Because there will be someone out here who does want you for who you are and that is what I focus on and I feel the best I have in a long time. Again this doesn't mean I have given up on my W and that I don't love her, it just means I'm letting her find herself.

Stay strong buddy.