Hello. I'm sorry you're here; glad you are posting now instead of lurking.

I can only speak from my own experience. It was really important to me to try to figure out why. This did not help me.

What did help me was GAL. The more I put the focus on myself, the happier my son is and the easier this is for me to navigate.

One thing that really helped me was setting goals. Regardless of the outcome, I wanted to be able to say I'd tried my best, and even more important to me was that I want my son to say I always took the high road. Time will tell on that one.

I hope this helps. You aren't alone, sadly. You will get through this. Cali and Irish are great threads to read. Hang in there.
xo

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver