So I Googled "guilt over divorcing wife" and I came across these forums that were written by WAS posters. It was really hard for me to read. A lot of them were female WAS, but I am sure the feelings were similar for my husband.
The posters wanted divorce. They were aware that they were detached and no longer invested in the marriage. They wanted their spouses to just leave them alone, find someone new and realize that the relationship was over so that they did not have to feel guilty.
There was all sorts of encouragement anx a sentiment on there regarding how necessary it is to leave a marriage that's not working and how to not allow the LBS to make them feel guilty.
It was really disturbing to me on such a deep level. The callousness of it. The lack of commitment and loyalty. The disregard for family and acceptance of impermanence... one poster quill, actually made this comment about how of course the LBS does not want the marriage to end because they no longer have the servitude of the WAS. Ugh.
They are as stuck on their beliefs of ending a unhealthy marriage as I am of preserving it. I recognize I can be wrong and regardless I have not power to change it.
My husband is so relieved I filed. I will never be a friendly coparent. I will never let this be easy for him. I really hate him for his beliefs... that family is disposable.
I hope more then anything that he is doomed to hurt and failed relationships.
I want him to regret this, but I can honestly say he never will. He is convinced this was the right decision. Just like many if those posters were.
For some reason, I can't let go even though it holds me back.
