was or what 8

[roist]

2lady,

Thank you for dropping by and giving me your opinion. I can understand your assessment and there could be some truth in it.

I am not very sure of myself and what to do and how. I am working on this with some success but not there yet. I have grown a lot and will achieve a fuller happier life. At the moment I am just making the best if it within my situation.
I can do better and I am figuring out how.

Tbh, I fear more about how long things will continue as is than.her leaving. Her parents live together but very much apart. Mine were not a super example either, but it was until death. I don't want to live an unhappy M and definitely don't like being with someone who doesn't want to be there (mindreading of course!!).


We both are unhappy in this M. We both want a better life. We both love our kids and what is best for them. For me the solution is to build a happy R together. For her idk. Reading my positives etc it should be easy to rebuild our connection and advance BUT it isn't. Maybe I am not capable of doing what it'll take but I am doing what I can. Maybe regardless what I do she is unreceptive to connecting fully with me. Maybe both.

I am aware of self fulfilling prophesies and am mindful of that. That is why I concentrate on the positives,
practice gratitude (especially about R) and keep working on me. I am here to see how I can tweak our: interactions and my behaviours to be sure I am not doing that.

I have spent a lot of time looking into cbt and find it helpful.
It has helped me change some thoughts beliefs and behaviours.Ann has tuned me into to noticing dynamics and irrational thinking that are not serving me.

If you have the time I would appreciate your feedback on my full story. If not just on this thread.

Best wishes