I don't mind at all! If whatever I wrote helps you heal, feel free to pilfer to your heart's content.
I just have to underline the most important part of your post--if for no other reason than a real reminder:
Quote: But that's crap, no, because I know (at least in part) what he NEEDS...because he HAS said it, and because I've gleaned it and because when I really listen he's actually pretty clear (even though the conversation hasn't ever started "I had an A because you didn't do XYZ...").
He said "you were so angry all the time". He said "I thought our m. was already over."
I know so many of the things that work (relaxing, spending time together, listening more, etc) and so many of the things that don't (constantly looking for the next issue to solve, too much churning, acting like a time bomb, etc).
Relax. Appreciate. Observe. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Let yourself be loved. Open. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful. Share. Smile.
Your last paragraph says it all. And I think this is the answer to all your questions, Sage.
A big hug to you for being so doggone wise and helpful.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
