But I'm not strong .. Almost 2 months since BD and I am so confused. I am thinking maybe I don't remember correctly and maybe my H was really unhappy and miserable and this is not MLC. Maybe I didn't tell him I love you enough or was not caring or affectionate enough. But then I remember trying to get closer and him not accepting my affection the last few months before BD.
So .. stupid me .. scrolled through our text messages and reread them. 1 week before BD and earlier -- his messages were full of I love yous and being affectionate. Same with mine -- always showing concern for the other and sweet and flirty.
I know this time is good .. for me to work on myself and fix my issues. But damnit .. I'm pissed right now. Why did I have to have the spouse that just left? why couldn't I have realized earlier when he made comments about depression and running away, to make him see someone to talk? I tried to talk to him .. but I did not try hard enough. I know I need to be okay alone and I need to fix me -- but I just hurt so bad right now. And I know the why's and what it's make it worse ... but just sad.
Me: 42 Him: 45 Daughter: 13 ____________________________________ Married 16 Years, Together 17 Years BD: 8/15/16 Moved out: 8/26/16
