Quote: Maybe the one who's resisting ME being ME is ME?
Why do think that it? Is it fear of H having a problem with this again? Perhaps (as you've suggested), HE no longer has a problem with this part of you, perhaps HE has come to see the value and appreciates this side of you.....
I think there's an element of fear -- big time -- that if I relax my grip on the "changes" or the "self-monitoring" that I will lapse into pre-bomb sage mode.
In my head, though, I know that that fear is silly for a number of reasons. First off, I have made changes that are lasting so I'll never go back to "then". Secondly, it's really not all about my m...I've never felt like I could just be me and let the chips fall where they may.
In an absurd coincidence...here is my cainercast for today:
You may think you're in a no-win situation with respect to family or marital responsibilities. Or the rules of your household may clash with the rules you live by among friends. Meantime, a story on the work front is telling you the extent to which you've sacrificed your freedom to get a job done. These situations all represent your attempt to meet the world on its terms rather than insisting that it meet you on yours. Experiment with the power of being resolutely who you are. People who want to deal with you can adapt, and they will.
it's not fair of me to blame h or anyone else actually for not "accepting" me because the simplest truth is that I've been unable or unwilling for a long time to sit in my skin and just be me. The ultimate fear is that if I am just me, warts and all so to speak, that the entire population will just shrink back in horror. So I try to twist and turn myself to fit some mold I think I need to fit.
The hardest part is that my lack of self-acceptance just screams out "I'm not HAPPY" and "why can't we ALL be better?" and sends this mist of perfectionism over not just the way I view ME but the way folks just generally feel in my presence I think.
IOW, my inability to accept ME seems to shout the message that I find everyone unacceptable.
UGH.
I started with the KLA thread and posted some stuff I would like to improve but it really feels as though the best use of my "time" right now would be to focus on appreciating the wonder of my m and my h and figuring out how to find the wonder of me.
Quote:
Quote: but there's NO reason to not start LIVING with acceptance of yourself today, right?
hmmmm....I wonder who it was that posted this on my thread just this morning......
So I try to twist and turn myself to fit some mold I think I need to fit.
