A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

Well, feeling some of the down-ness right now. Too windy today to get outside with D. Locked up in the house with W and D. Days like these are a downer and I feel like a prisoner who is at the whims of his Ws mood swings.

Last weekend W and I agreed I'd do Sunday meals. She apparently took that to mean one meal on Sunday, while I took it to mean all. W days she has too much anxiety to give up doing both meals. Had a quiet conversation about it this morning with her. Whatever, will work through that.

The part that hit home is her continuously saying "when you have her during your time you can do whatever you want...". Really hammers home that here we are. She also said that if I wanted to keep pressing on the meals conversation we need to tell D what's going on. She said we could get her down here right now and I (apparently by myself) could tell D what's going on.

At this point I'm tempted to call her on that and tell D soon. I'll speak with IC about it on tues. What's the point in not telling D if W is insistent on driving this to an end. I told W we can't tell D be we need to discuss beforehand how to approach it.

We really need to be out of in house. It's not working. I know if we S then we are done, but the constant reminder of our family is driving me insane. Almost like I'm chasing my tail and won't ever catch it. I'm exhausted, frustrated, and I don't know what.

We will see. Spending time with D right now, though W had pulled her away for a few to help with the laundry. I'm wondering how D is going to react when we tell her. How can I continue to keep her world stable and happy. I've no doubt I'll figure it out but really not a fan of my W for putting us here.

W told me earlier that this was in the works for 10yrs and I put us here. I stopped her and said "we" put us here. No ownership from her whatsoever. Guess there never will be. I'll be the bad guy, but I won't let her take us down with her.