Thank you Sandi for setting me straight. I just re-read the 37 rules, and I'll go over the threads soon too.

I have to accept this is a long process, and I need patience. I think I'm fully learning this now.

Update:

I got another message from OM's W, the OM and my W tried to deny any sex went on, but finally the OM admitted it to his W. OM's W is obviously upset, and told me she plans on coming to our state and confronting my W (OM's W works for an airline, and we're near a major hub).

Should I dissuade that, or should I urge it on? Maybe it will make my W truly stop the A, but I would hope the OM would stop it anyway.

Thanks.

M 40 W 40
S 2.5
Together 13 years
Married 11 years
BD: 09/23/16
PA, then long Distance EA confirmed 9/30/16
Exposed A to OM's W 10/7/16
A ended 10/10/16