Have you read any of the links that were provided in Cadet's post? Interestingly enough, there is one entitled, Newcomer LBH with a WW. I would think, based on the title of your thread.......that would have caught your eye enough to at least check it out. There are several threads on the subject of a WW's mindset. This is the first one.
I know you said you ordered the books. Have you tried to apply the 37 rules? I didn't see anything to indicate you had, but maybe I missed it. You have plunged into something, and now, you are in a tailspin. You go from exposing one day to hugging her the next...........and asking when you get to compliment and seduce your cheating spouse! Man, you need to find your head before you open your mouth again.
This is what happens with a newcomer H who doesn't get the basic information before he jumps in and starts doing something. And that's exactly what you said, "I've got to do something"! Your emotions are screaming and telling you to do something.......no matter what it is. As soon as you see her reactions were not what you were hoping, you want to plunge into something else.
So now, will you calm down and focus on what you need to be learning before blindly jumping into something else?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
