Return Trip for advice

[Sotto]

Bunches my friend!! I remember you back from 2014 when I was posting as Toots - now Sotto..and sadly D'd, but doing okay nonetheless.

I'm glad you are posting again, but sorry for the circumstances. I think it is really hard when you have kids together. XH and I didn't, but I do keep in touch with my SS & his Mum separately to XH, whom I haven't seen for a couple of years now. He's still with his AP as far as I know.

Anyway, I think the message from me is - it's best to try and separate out what is best for your S, and what felt best for you at the time you thought you might be seeing some early reconnection desire. My view is - the goalposts just shifted and we are back to purely what is best for your S and what works for you as a coparent. Who knows further down the line, but it is what it is for now.

As you guys are D'd for a little while now and she wants to introduce a guy to your S, I would think that's reasonable (though not nice for you I appreciate.) I certainly wouldn't make any objection to that. I also wouldn't make any major statement like - well you're doing that so we don't get to do this. I would however gently withdraw and be less available for her.

So, what about your own life Bunches. How have things been moving forward for you over the past couple of years? I particularly remember valuing your posts at a difficult time for me and would like to thank you for posting to me.

I hope this helps a little and I am sorry for the turn things have taken...in the much longer term who knows my friend, but do live your life for you in the meantime.

Take care and I hope you're having a nice weekend :)x