was or what 8

[roist]

I had thought about getting that book and even starting a thread under SSM. I will read it. Still being together my private reading time is limited but I do manage to do some. Thanks all for the recommendation.

Rose888,
Thank you for droppings by and taking the time to write to me. I read your thread when I was in newcomers and liked your advice to others. I welcome your perspective for many reasons including you being the low drive spouse,you having turned things around and not least you being a woman.

If it was ONLY sex I probably would not be having such a hard time of it. Though I use the word only lightly because it has been over THREE years now! That is not low drive. Not having sex is one thing but knowing it is unlikely is another. I say unlikely but at moment it is certain.

My W is a WAW who hasn't walked. She is checked though still there. All the things I listed are truly present but seems superficial, keeping up a front....idk. I cannot explain this though earlier on I put a lot of time into trying. Maybe she is only here for the kids, but that doesn't explain everything. Maybe she does not want to verbalize this so she does the mininal kissing and allows physical contact.By contact I mean touch, not touching. Side by side, or my arm/leg on hers etc. She puts herself in a position that facilitates me being close but does not put her hand/arm/leg etc on mine.

There are many times filled with silence. At times even when talking only with me eye contact is avoided. But then there are moments though fewer where it is the exact opposite. Sometimes talking she stares directly into my eyes for so long I an a bit unconformable.

I don't have the time now to elaborate further but trust me the glorified roommate description is not false. It is tough and I have feelings that make me understand the WAS very well. This at times hinders my struggle but mostly gives me the understanding and compassion I need to keep going.

Rose I hope we get to continue chatting as I feel your perspective could help me.

Best wishes and have a good Sunday