He frequently seems to ask me where I'm going or what I am doing. He seems to like to keep tabs on me, I don't know how he will manage that when he no longer lives here, or maybe he is just damn nosey. Don't worry, I've managed to inject a little sexy in there, I'd just got out the shower when he got home, I made sure I bought the short vs nightie on, I actually looked in the mirror and thought my pregnant body is pretty sexy.
What difference does it make if he pays attention to you and/or thinks you are sexy? He is still actively lying, cheating, and trying to D you. I don't get it and it makes me terribly sad for you. I am waiting for the strong and confident Cherry to say enough is enough and realize that she deserves better than focusing on him.
I appreciate that other posters want to shower you with complements and encouragement, but I can't see how any of that is helping you feel better and move forward. The idea in DB is to detach, be a lighthouse, assess what gets results, and IF you get positive results then to continue. I have read all of your posts and have not seen how any of this is working. He continues to hurt you and you continue to focus on him. Same loop.
So again, I am perfectly okay with not being popular with other posters because I am being honest and I am thinking about what I believe is best for you. If I only posted "Atta girl, Cherry! You are amazing! He is a fool!" Well then I would be doing you an incredible disservice. We already know this to be true, but what help is it to you? It only villainies him, victimizes you, and then we are perpetuating the cycle.
I had a friend many years ago that made a decision that would be hard on her and her family. She had already done it once and it didn't work in her favor. When she did it the second time, I told her I was concerned for her and was she sure it was a good idea. I was polite about it and genuinely concerned. She was embarrassed and defensive and went off on me and hung up. And guess what? She went ahead and did it with the same results. She never apologized and we are no longer friends. I am perfectly okay with that because I want openness and honesty in all of my Rs.
So, again, sweet Cherry. We know you are sexy and wonderful and he is making a terrible mistake. But he is still doing it and continues to. How can we help you get stronger, more confident, and prepare for a life without him? SH gave you some HW awhile back and I too was hoping you would do it.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
