A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

MV I agree with you. I'm going to discuss with the L after they have a chance to review. Unsure what W would want though, besides the custody piece, but we will see. This is turning into something like a business negotiation, which I'm very familiar with. I hate that it has come to this, but here we are I guess.

Fade, I'll ask my L about a custody counselor. Hadn't heard of this before now. Found a co-parenting counselor through the L, I'm assuming the custody counselor is more of a mediator though?

My W literally fights everything I say. If I say the sky is blue she will argue the shade of blue. It's enough to drive me insane. "I refuse less than 50% custody" has been added to my bank of WW responses though. I think I'll need it a lot before all this is said and done.

Read up on parallel parenting last night and it makes sense. Very structured, emotion removed. I hope it doesn't come to that but with my W not letting go of any of the anger we very well find that's the best way forward. So sad, when we used to be so plugged into each other.

Alimony wise, yes we are in an at-fault jurisdiction. I'm trying to be fair to my W and not let the emotions of the situation drive things. At the same time, she needs to be fair with me, but I have a hard time seeing that she will be based on her perception of the future and also what she's done recently. She's blazing a fiery path of destruction throughout this thing and I'm afraid it continues into the future.

That said, no mention of her agreements being completed. Supposed to have them by last week. If my Ls finish ours first I'll need to decide if I front run her. Again, a business decision, not happy about having to make that choice. That said, if it helps protect D and I then I'll make it.

D has friends over for a sleepover tonight. Wondering if W is trying to get all these sleepovers in bc it'll be hard to do it in an apartment. Told W today that D and I would like to throw our tent in the backyard next Saturday, roast marshmallows over the fire pit, and "camp-out" for the night. W didn't say anything but I know she hated that idea. D and I have been talking about all summer though, just waiting for cooler weather. W hates camping and will be anxious that D is sleeping outside. Her issue to get over. Once D and I are free of this, we will be doing a lot more camping/hiking activities that W has heavily discouraged over the years.

I'm sitting in the office typing this. W is sitting downstairs. Still no interest from W in talking to me unless it's being critical. I went to the gym and to get a haircut today while W and D went shopping for a bday gift for a friend. Came home and D was upset I didn't tell her where I was going. Told D where I'd been and W jumped in and said that wasn't fair and I should apologize to D. I had told D back when this S started and I was GAL that I'd tell her where I was, so I apologized.

W pulled me aside into the garage a little later and told me how this was more of the same and I was breaking promises. Told me that W didn't care where I went or what I did but D does. I Let her vent, told her ok and thank you for letting me know and that was that. I wanted to remind her that she promised a lot of things when we got M that she has not kept, but did not. I'm reminded of that scene from tombstone after doc Holliday guns down Johnny ringo and tells Wyatt Earp "my hypocrisy knows no bounds". Tiring at times.

I find my mind wandering to how W is going to react to these negotiations around custody. Trying to come up with plans for reacting, counteracting, and getting the final agreements to what I believe to be fair. I just wish my W could see all this through my eyes and see the damage she's creating. I think I've done an ok job seeing through her eyes, so far as the issues I've created, but maybe I'm missing something. Who knows. Nothing to do but keep working on myself and my R with my D.

Thanks Fade and MV!!!