Hi Huddy, thanks for stopping by. I had several names on here for a few reasons.
My bomb date is June 2007. He was having an affair with someone in another state. We had been married 25 years at the time. He stayed in my bed for nine months and in our home for almost two years...
Fun times...NOT!
It was a difficult marriage as he was controlling. I had become very small and depressed in it. I did all the wrong things in the beginning. As Ive said, I came kicking and screaming into DB.
I blamed myself for everything. But with the help of the people on here and my therapist, I grew back.
At first I was devastated by it all. He had $60,000 in debt I knew nothing about. He had been taking money for a long time. Our son had a lot of health issues and I trusted my xh completely so I never realized what he was doing financially. He took my retirement funds (long story), lost his job or quit, moved across a few states.
I got screwed in court royally and was financially ruined for a lot of reasons.
After some time, when he wouldnt leave the home and I started to find my strength, I began to just live my life. I have a twisted sense of humor and would do things for my amusement.
I once dressed up his cell phone and invited it to dinner since he was basically having an affair with it in between trips to see his OW.
I finally told him, in no uncertain terms that he needed to leave. He did. It was a hard decision, but, I finally filed.
I wanted to walk this in my own way and I did. I never said a bad word about him to our son. I acted with dignity and strength. I will never recoup what he did financially, but, that's on him.
She ended the affair. No surprise there. She was his GF before me all those years ago who had cheated on him with his best friend. I guess they thought it was the love that got away.
I had a particularly crazy MLCer. Some of the things that have come out of his mouth are somewhat legend around here.
I have some health issues and aside from financially, I am ok. My son, who took this very hard, lost his footing as it was always the three of us. He still hasnt found his way,but, I am always hopeful. He is an amazing young man. Because of my actions, he has maintained a relationship with his dad who remains about 6 hours away.
If you were to ask my xh about me, he would tell you I was a good wife. He has never said a bad thing about me as far as I know. At least not to anyone I know.
I would say he has some regrets, but, that is something he has to live with. As for me, I did this the way I wanted to, although, I would have handled it differently now. But I am proud of how I acted.
As far as I know, he hasnt been with anyone else, but, who knows? Not my concern. We are cordial and polite when we see each other, which isnt often.
I have long ago forgiven him for his actions and that was for me. I continue to wish him well and hope one day he finds peace.
My buds on here have other ideas, though. LOL!
This is tough stuff,but, I am forever grateful for the journey.
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