I don't want to forget to post these specific positives so I'm gonna post early.
h has called me 2-3 times today just to say "hi". This is actually over and above the 2-3 calls I normally get! It's weird and wonderful..he just seems to want to chat. The conversations are only about five minutes long but I think he's liking telling me that he's thinking about me.
Also, h is planning a "surprise date" for tonight. I think I've mentioned this before but it bears repeating..it's cool because I think for a long time (years?) h didn't feel as though he could "please" me...and going out on a limb to plan a surprise date is both bold but also a sign of confidence. lucky, lucky girl.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Got home and h was raring to go. He seemed totally pumped to see me! He had directions printed out and was totally cute about keeping them hidden.
We ended up going to a sports bar that we've heard tons about. Can you say 500 TVs? I kid you not! It was a Red Sox fans dream come true! The food was great, awesome beer on tap, too. And it turns out that it's also on this discount dining program we're in...so not only totally fun but frugal, too!
They have a giant game room, too, so we played a bunch of games -- I threw about 30 footballs trying valiantly to hit some targets, what a goof! h was a maniac.
Then he kicked my butt in air hockey THREE times!
It was tons of fun and I LOVE how h thinks up cool stuff for us to do!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Sage tiptoes in and peeks into the corners...can she post this without CHL seeing???
Here's my cainercast for today...I like it: Your current drama has something to do with an obligation; a vulnerable person you want to protect or an endangered situation that means a great deal to you. Mars and Mercury are asking you to recognise that there is a limit to what you can do or say; yet they are also inviting you to stretch that limit as far as you dare. Some kind of almost superhuman gesture needs to be made. Do you have what it takes? Can you be that giving and that self-sacrificing?
It's the superhuman gesture I'm afraid CHL is gonna latch onto!
Anyway...I like this because it's occurred to me over the last couple of weeks that I've deviated from my goals of more patience and compassion towards others...I've been impatient and angry towards people at work and at school and I've even felt some impatience (or maybe EXPECTATION and CLINGING) towards some elements of my sitch at home...I don't like the "clenching" that I've felt at work and at school in particular (since it's much more pronounced there) so I feel reminded to see if I can be more patient and compassionate...not only towards others but towards myself! (nod to CHL )
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Had a great weekend...hard to believe it's monday already! This is my last week of school for this semester (yeehah!). 'course the summer semester starts May 17th but I do believe that gives me TWO relaxing weeks off!
Friday night h met ME after classes (I was getting my hair done) and we went to a local place for seafood and the Sox game. Saturday was ALL about studying for me -- one study group in the AM and the other in the PM. Yuck. But we did get a lot done.
Saturday afternoon I checked my work e-mail and it turned out that they were having some problem or other that they thought I could fix. They had called my cell 2x but since I never carry my cell when I'm at home I hadn't heard it...there were multiple emails to a BUNCH of people saying "tried to call Sage but she's not answering".
UGH!!!! I really panicked and got super stressed out...called them back...was really upset. It was a stressed out about work feeling the likes of which I haven't had in a LONG time...it was about feeling like I had let them down, feeling pressured to provide a solution, feeling like I was being "talked" about, and feeling as though in the larger scheme of things I just don't care enough about my job to TRY to do better -- to carry my cell around and just wait to crisis solve.
Then, of course, there was the overlay of - is this stressed out reaction the kind of thing that DROVE h away? blah, blah, blah.
h was GREAT. Told me that it doesn't bother him when I get stressed other than to feel concern for me and to NOT want me to feel that way...said that it really only affects him IF he thinks he's the root cause OR he doesn't know what the root cause is (GREAT communication from h!).
He said that he was going to surprise me with a dinner locale and a movie (on demand)...and he did BOTH! h is so very good at comforting me, being there for me. Big-time positive.
Yesterday h had his first baseball game this season. They lost but actually looked pretty good for their first outing. The game wiped us both out (hey, it's HARD to sit there for 3 hours keeping score! ) so the rest of the day we just relaxed...hung around the house, ate dinner in, watched TV. I think h was worried that I was bored (I wasn't) and I told him so!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Sorry that phone call/email from work stressed you out. I know the feeling all too well. I go through each thought/emotion you described.
How did you handle it?
Quote: This is my last week of school for this semester (yeehah!). 'course the summer semester starts May 17th but I do believe that gives me TWO relaxing weeks off!
* Admit you are a negative thinker. Accept your negative thinking as a bad habit that needs to be broken. Get really good at tracking your negative thoughts. Replace your negative thoughts with compassionate self-talk.
Hey, I do all the same things you named. Know the feelings too well. Working to change them, inspired by YOU!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
) so the rest of the day we just relaxed...hung around the house, ate dinner in, watched TV. I think h was worried that I was bored (I wasn't) and I told him so!
Know the feelings too well. Working to change them, inspired by YOU!!