Cherry. Filed, moving, spinning..

[Cherry]

Thank you all for coming in with the support! It is all so helpful and gives me food for thought. I like V's reference to a motorboat! That is for sure him, and he seems to be tugging me again.

Still not sure on what to do, when he told me originally that he was going to d me, his plan was to stay living here. I told him then that if he went through with a d I want him to leave. And I have continuously said to him, I don't want to give up on our m, but if he does, he goes. I don't feel comfort at all helping him pack, I want no part in it, but advance warning will be for sure good, as I don't want S to see. And imagine I will find that painful too.

I'm out today, again he came to me this morning, asked what was up with me as he was talking to S and I was busy. I said I'm fine. He asked were me and S going out, I just replied yes. He asked where, I just said for fresh air.

I've just pulled back a tad from giving up to much information.

Where I see wh has attempted to cake eat is when he kept telling me that he still finds me attractive and has urges towards me. I told him again that if he wants to d me, he can't still sleep with me. The last time we went through this and it was hell, we would have hot passionate sex, then get dressed and go our own separate ways. I couldn't sex him back and I felt cheap and used! The ex ow even sent me a screenshot where he said: "me and her (meaning me) just have really great sex". I don't understand why he even told ex ow that!

I guess I'll find my balance, this is truly truly hard. I understand the rapid need to detach from his waywardness and get a life, genuinely for myself.