Cherry. Filed, moving, spinning..

[Surfer]

Cherry,

Try not to stress about this. We all have so many options all the time. This is just one. If you H feels the need to leave, you won't be able to stop him. Nothing you you do or say is likely to change that.

When my W left, with the kids, I had a week warning. I just put on a brave face and coped. You do the same. Talk to you M & D, friends, MIL etc. You could ask for warning as it's important that your S is not around. It could become a core memory for him. I promise you this, this short and intense period is exactly that and when he goes (and I think he will) you will feel calm and I expect happy. Partly because of all the worrying up to the event. After this you will still cycle but it will be easier I believe. It was for me.

Having read all of this genuinely kind and well meaning advice I personally do think that reflecting on cake eating is important. I get that this is down to the definition of a WS and whilst boundaries are needed for bad behaviour being careful not to get too hung up on cake eating is important. Because it can could me across as vindictive or spiteful reacting to this all the time. This is (IMO) very important and is not focussed on enough here. The DB coaches focus on this however.

I think this will sit well with you:

Also what I meant to say Cherry, is that he told you he is leaving next week so it's only a few more days. Could you use this opportunity to do a 180 and ask him if he needs any help packing? That was something my DB coach suggested....

Be careful "Different strokes for different folks" is perhaps a valid point to make. Behave according to you and your core personality. Not another's. If that means offering to help pack or even say nothing so be it. Like I have said it is unlikely that anything you say or do will change his mind. Do what Cherry feels comfortable with. Be you.

You will get through this tricky patch. It will get better. You will feel happier and more in control again. I promise. Try to rest and put it all to the back of your mind as much as you can as the worry and anxiety is only that. It can't help you it can hurt you if you let it. Detach from this brief process (it's easier than detaching from the bigger picture) as it is just that.

Surfer.