Cherry. Filed, moving, spinning..

[Cherry]

Thank you guys all for the input and the various views and support.

It is a bit confusing as I see both sides. I see that he is making a bit of a mockery of me and I have slid back the last few days and I've even let him see my emotional side and vulnerable side, and let him come to me as he apparently could see I had been upset. But I also see Sara's side and seen that some kindness can have a positive effect.

He is going this week. Wether or not the stress gets to me and I kick him out sooner I don't know. But what I do know is that I need to back the hell off from him and be an absolute mystery to him. I plan to get up and go out with S again tomorrow, and genuinely enjoy my day. I need to get used to the idea that he is gone and adapt my life to how it's going to be without him. He's still out and it's gone 2am so no doubt he is out with ow. I can tell I'm still attached as this has angered me tonight, and I've thought about many things such as texting him telling him to get the hell out, to calling a locksmith, to calling her and giving her a piece of my mind, and then to f**k you I don't care.

I know these aren't healthy thoughts so I know I need to get it together. I also know I'm not sleeping to great so I know I need to get onboard with this. I shall avoid him tomorrow while I get my head together with what to do. But the basis is he is gone. He most probably is having an affair, and I need to stop allowing him into my life.