Letting my weight down...

[debcb]

thanks for filling me in Sage, now I know why I find your threads so inspiring, it's because I find myself grappling with the same issues....truely amazing. Thanks for your inspiration.

[sage]

Had a very good day yesterday...got thru my presentation to our CEO without losing my mind! Now I don't have to face THAT again for another 2 weeks! (yahoo).

Lots of positives from yesterday:

1. When I got home from work I got a knee weakening passionate kiss from h. These have been increasing in frequency and I HAVE to say I LIKE it!!!

2. h and I went on an evening hike. We had a terrific time, he set a very fast aerobic pace so we really got some great exercise! It's also a terrific time for us to just talk.

3. I had kind of an interesting insight yesterday. I think I've mentioned before that I've struggled with forgiveness of my mom ...just had the feeling that some things "shouldn't" happen. Well, I realized yesterday that I've been carrying around this misperception -- the notion that people who LOVE you don't do certain things...and therefore, since certain things have happened, I must be without love in my life. I think it kind of comes down to feeling as though I need to be perfect (because I AM holding myself to the same criteria) and that others need to be perfect and that if we're NOT then our love is flawed.

BUT...people who love each other DO make mistakes. I HAVE hurt others who are important to me...those I love...and I have been hurt by those who love me...opening myself up to the reality that mistakes and missteps and flaws ARE part of the love experience unblocks me, I think. It allows me to see that forgiveness is not only possible but necessary -- not just for others but also for myself.

It seemed clearer when I had the epiphany yesterday

Anyway...the net is that I realized yesterday that I've been discounting the LOVE in my life based on some misperceptions about the need for PERFECTION in my actions and those around me.

Realizing that seems liberating to me.

Sage

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

Good Morning SAGE!

Wow...number 3.

I can so completely relate to that.

What a fabulous insite...and a great way to resolve it.

I've quoted you over on my thread so that I won't forget.

Hugs!

[CoolHandLuke]

Anyway...the net is that I realized yesterday that I've been discounting the LOVE in my life based on some misperceptions about the need for PERFECTION in my actions and those around me.

Realizing that seems liberating to me.

Sage

So....

You know what's coming.....

Does this mean you're going to stop being so hard on yourself?

[minnie1]

Good morning Sage,

I'm glad that your presentation to the CEO went well and that it's over and done with!

BUT...people who love each other DO make mistakes. I HAVE hurt others who are important to me...those I love...and I have been hurt by those who love me...opening myself up to the reality that mistakes and missteps and flaws ARE part of the love experience unblocks me, I think. It allows me to see that forgiveness is not only possible but necessary -- not just for others but also for myself.

I can't tell you how appropriate this is today. I was again going down the path where I think that there is no way I can forgive H (even if he were to ask for it), that I can't get past this, that I try to treat him as a friend but realize that my friends wouldn't treat me the way he does. Then I come in and read this! Thank you! I can't say that I feel warm an fuzzy right now towards him but realize that I DO need to work on this.

Anyway, sorry to hijack your thread...just wanted to say thank you!

Minnie

[mockers2]

Thank you again, sage, for the inspiration. You are amazing.

[sage]

Does this mean you're going to stop being so hard on yourself?

I'm dropping the rope on ME! Does that make sense?

I'm good enough...I'm....

Sage

[sage]

PIB, Minnie, Mockers...thanks friends for the positive reinforcement! I have to admit that I struggled with the posting...It seemed a bit too touchy/feely...not action oriented enough!

Positives:

1. h bought me (us) a present yesterday! It's a beautiful cedar bird feeder...I've been talking about wanting one (I love birds) and he got us one! Now does anyone know how to make birds want to come to YOUR feeder?? (PS -- clear indication that h listens to me and is eager to fulfill my desires! )

2. h was totally psyched to see me after class last night...I picked him up from the train...we had a great laying-in-bed conversation...just casual topics but I love that time with him...h asked me "am I talking too much?" NEVER!

3. We've got an unexpected date tonight at his initiation!

Sage

[psluke]

I'm good enough...I'm....

Sage

And Gosh darn it people like me!!

Have a wonderful day Ms Sage. You have had a much larger impact on my life than you will probably ever know.

I credit Calystra and you for guiding, pushing, and pulling, my personal development over the past year.

Lots of folks have helped but the two of you have put a lot of time into ME! Thank you!!!

[Lyrael]

3. I had kind of an interesting insight yesterday. I think I've mentioned before that I've struggled with forgiveness of my mom ...just had the feeling that some things "shouldn't" happen. Well, I realized yesterday that I've been carrying around this misperception -- the notion that people who LOVE you don't do certain things...and therefore, since certain things have happened, I must be without love in my life. I think it kind of comes down to feeling as though I need to be perfect (because I AM holding myself to the same criteria) and that others need to be perfect and that if we're NOT then our love is flawed.

BUT...people who love each other DO make mistakes. I HAVE hurt others who are important to me...those I love...and I have been hurt by those who love me...opening myself up to the reality that mistakes and missteps and flaws ARE part of the love experience unblocks me, I think. It allows me to see that forgiveness is not only possible but necessary -- not just for others but also for myself.

It seemed clearer when I had the epiphany yesterday

Anyway...the net is that I realized yesterday that I've been discounting the LOVE in my life based on some misperceptions about the need for PERFECTION in my actions and those around me.

Realizing that seems liberating to me.

Sage

Oh, Sage. That was exactly the thought I needed today. What a great epiphany to come out of your inner struggles over the past couple weeks!
Thank you for sharing that with us.
Myrrh