was or what 8

[roist]

Before continuing, I wanted to say I do realise that many fellow dbers strive towards having what I have. In many ways my situation is more bearable than others and yet more difficult in other ways. FY posted the good and the bad aspects of his M on one of his early threads. So for the record here is mine, though I will not dig deep into the bad points, as I avoid focusing too much on that. I don't need to focus on it. I am aware and see it without effort!!!

GOOD points:
# Never had a real BD. No ILYBNILWY. No I want to leave and no talk of D/S.
# Share a bed and go to bed together. Comfortable enough to: undress in front of me.
# average four kisses every day to say hello, goodbye, good morning and good night .
# only told one friend about state of M. Yes Mr inappropriate. Other friends and family are in the dark

# most of her friends and all her family really like me

# treat each other respectfully almost always.

# W v good/involved with sons

# W emphasises family. Family time/activities. Prepared family tree and put it up in corridor between boys rooms. Phones my mam with sons from time to time.

# W does lions share of household chores and often makes big effort with meals. I appreciate this even if it means more dishes to be cleaned afterwards by me!! I do a fair share and we usually clean house together.

# W does not flinch if we are in contact. I initiate contact when on couch/in bed in non sexual manner. I do this for two reasons. 1 because I can and this situation is going to last a long time so may as well make the most of it. 2 because I want to keep things slightly beyond the roommate status

# will do stuff with me alone or with others, non date/romantic stuff at least.

There are more but I got to go. None of this means I will save my M just as the bad stuff does not mean I won't.

Just to mention 3 negatives:
1 sexless, affection less roommate R
2 wears ring v rarely
3 two years trying and about two years in crisis before that. Guess that means I am closer to the end.... haha.

Any suggestions/comments or questions?