Isn't 15 kind of faking it actually? And if you come across as something is wrong and then you say "nothing", do you really expect they will believe that? They are going to think your looking like pouting and then saying "nothing" is totally a game to get them to really probe you about what is wrong.
Rule #15: When at home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation---then don't, wait for him/her) then, be rather scarce or with your words, but don't sound rude or too short like you are mad. If your spouse asks what's wrong....just say "nothing" and have a pleasant expression on your face. Keep it short and simple. Don't get into an argument! Stay polite and don’ t act like you are pouting. Use poise and class. This does not mean to act like you aren’t speaking, but don’t be overly talkative.
So, if you come across as something is wrong or look like you are pouting........you aren't following what #15 says. I don't know how you get playing games from what is clearly stated as being pleasant and polite. Don't say "nothing".....but don't start discussing the MR, your feelings, or him. (Gee, that was just an example.) If you use to say, "nothing", just to get your H to probe you for more.....then you should say something else, b/c this is not points in how to play female games.
Most LBS's want to talk....and talk...and talk some more. The point in the rule was that the LBS is so pleasant and calm (which the OS is not expecting) that he/she may ask what's wrong, and if so, then continue with a pleasant calmness and let the OS lead with conversation.
A lot of LBS's want to talk it out. Talk about the MR, feelings, what he's doing/not doing, etc. That doesn't work at this particular time. It only leads to arguments, and more pain for you. That's not to say that there will never come a time to discuss the problems in the relationship.....but now is not the time.
So, if your friend just died and you are heartbroken, then sure.....you don't have to stand around smiling from ear to ear. These rules are about the do's and don'ts for you in the MR with your H, until he is ready to reconcile and work to save the M. When that time comes, then will be the time to talk.
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I think there are a lot of good points here but where do you draw the line between being the NEW and BETTER you that is supposed to be attractive to your spouse and playing games or suppressing yourself in ways that result in you not being new and better?
Number one, in case I haven't made this clear......this has nothing to do with playing games. Maybe those are the type of books you have previously read on MR's (and there's plenty out there), but this is not one of them. Suppressing yourself? Well, you could be talking about a wide range from.....physically attacking someone......to holding back tears. See? It's not easy to express everything in a few words, is it?
Why do you group being attractive with playing games? Let me ask it this way......did you know how to be an attractive new & better woman before you were married? I bet you did! Apparently, your H was attracted to the woman he saw in you. Maybe you are having difficulty separating working on yourself.....and working on the M.
It would take me writing a book to go into trying to answer you the way I would I like. Maybe one of the men who don't have to use as many words, will respond.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
