I downloaded some divorce paperwork this week. Started filling it out. I know why I did it, but divorce is still not what I want. F -it.
Why? Why are doing the paperwork if you don't want a D?
Good question - I should have pointed out that I stopped filling it out. the "*-it" part was a comment on me not feeling the energy to write about it right now, not a comment on the M. I can see where that would be confusing.
Why I printed out and began filling out was a moment of complete frustration at the situation. I know - I know. I know what I have learned, read, prepared for, worked towards, what I seek in the future, my goals....all this. Just hit a real point of frustration like I have not experienced in my journey so far.
Not angry, not sad, no tears, no apathy, no depression, not trying to make sense of her, or the sitch - in fact nothing that felt like what it used to be at all. Frustration is really the best word I can think of. Wondering if it arrived b/c of all the positive movements made combined with full on fatigue.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
