I throughly confused. I've been DBing following Sandi's rules but my heart thinks I should try marriage counseling. I know she's not into it but my hope is that once she get's in there, something might happen to soften her stance.
Look, I'm terrified of losing my wife and family. After all that's happened these last two weeks, I still love my wife and I'm willing to fight for our marriage. I really don't know what to do. Help.
Look brother...you can follow your heart...and maybe it works out...but MWD has been working with folks like you and I for many years and your heart is more likely gonna lead to the opposite of what you are hoping for... If you want a chance your going to have to follow the counterintuitive principles here...
You are not going through anything most of us here have not already experienced...the truth is that few MR survive the BD...but the grand majority that do, did so following MWD principles. Google it. More "gurus" that work with troubled marriages use her exact principles...why do you think that is?
You have been thrown into the deep end here and told to swim...first time you go swimming a teacher will tell you to do things very counter to your instincts so you can swim...your instincts lead to actions that will drown you...
So what are you going to do? Sink splashing around because your instincts tell you to thrash around... Or Swim, by calming down, flatten out, roll over and float a second to catch your breath...then roll back over and take one stroke at a time towards your goal?
Don't panic here if you want to survive.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
