I'm certainly exhausted. There is some part of my brain that just says, enough. I still feel so much hurt, desire and hope in my guts ... yet when those feelings well up, my brain just seems to push it away, saying enough, just put one foot in front of the other.

So yeah, all those feelings are still there, and I imagine it will take years to fade. You bury a corpse six feet under, and it rots over decades.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final