Just keep plugging along

[cbtdad]

Thanks uRworthy!
Excuses is exactly what I am doing. I need to focus on what brought the positive changes in the first place.
We talked when she got home the other night. I realize a lot of this stress. Paramedic school that she is doing is extremely stressful and its about to get worse. I did tell her that I need to find an outlet to vent my frustrations about it to other than her because what happens is that it comes across that I am mad at her personally, not the situation. I know she isn't doing any of this to make me "mad" and I need to recognize that.
Like Cnut said, I definitely feel like I am being co-dependent lately. That's not healthy at all! Last night I made it a point to go out with neighbors to a haunted house. Just me. W and son didn't go. We had a blast! I am so glad I went.
On another note we had a MC session yesterday. Good timing.
It definitely got rocky in there. I think some of the stress hit a boiling point. I told her and MC that I have really been thinking about moving out because I think it may be best for us. She got defensive quickly. She said, "you remember what I said next time you threatened that? I was going to tell you to go" I sad I am not threating anything, that its something that I am seriously thinking about. She got really upset and yelled, "do that and I'll take half of everything you own"
So she threatens me after she thinks I was making a threat.
Once the yelling from both of us stopped we were able to dig deep into some of the real problems. We discussed some important factors. Especially the stress of her being in school right now.
In the end we were able to come back together and she said that she wants to be with me. Said that she knows these last couple of weeks aren't permanent and if she thought things couldn't change she would have left already.
I am trying to be very patient. I really am. I need to focus on me right now and let it play out. I started to get caught up in the little details again and I forgot that thins were actually good for a while.