Do I have photos or a DNA sample? No. But if your wife was with another man in his home until 3am, after she told me she was with a female co-worker, what would you think? I only caught her when she neglected my text messages at 2am asking if she was ok. She didn't know I could see where her car was parked and that it was in front of his house for 6 hours. They were just talking. Right.
You would think what we all we would. That she had sex with him. Probably multiple times. They had as much sex as they could fit into 5 hours. We all think that because it's the truth.
msp ... Concerning the A, or perceived A whatever you would like to call it.
You are at a crossroads here, you can fuel up and focus on that A/OM all minutes and hours of the day if you choose, where is this going to get you? Do not get me wrong, I did the same thing for far to long, all that wasted energy I should have applied towards what I called the Cali 2.0 campaign. Bottom line ... what do you want to do? Lets just accept your W is a WAW and involved in the EA/PA. You can not control her actions, this choice is hers and not reflective on you nor what you need to do now. Like I suggested earlier .... Sandi's 37, DB your arse off. You have to regain your sense of self and that will be impossible with wasting your time focused on where she is and with who.
The anger you feel is a good thing in this situation IF you apply it to get you over to the other side. Become a man only a fool would leave, the more you pursue and chase after her with the "Where were you, who were you with" the more she will run and feed you lies just because she can.
Pull back, GAL, PMA, 180 in there areas YOU chose and at some point do not be afraid to do your thing over what she wants you to do. You have a say in this .. much more than you realize.
I get it Cali. I was speaking with my therapist last night and she said basically said the same thing. My wife is thinking only about herself. Not me or my daughter.
We have a appointment with a marriage councilor tomorrow which is just window dressing in my eyes. She agreed just tom to say that she at least tried. It should be good entertainment at the very least.
All the 37 rules and DB'ing isn't going to save my marriage. I think my wife has been thinking about this for a long time and the new guy just set everything in motion.
I'm going to be a gentleman, DB my ass off and continue to hope.
I struggled with the EA/PA. Still do but trying to stop. It's no use. Its hurting you, whatever it was/is. That's enough. If you did something that your old W was upset about, you would stop and apologise. She is still doing whatever it is, it's enough - disrespectful. She has probably been thinking about this for a long time. Protect your finances protect you and D and DB.
Right now, counselling is a waste of time for you I fear. My W just spewed and re-wrote history. My first question was why are we here A} To separate B} To mend our marriage. There was not resounding 'B'. Ask the question. If there is no resounding 'B' you have your answer.
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
I know in my heart that she only going to the MC as a way to pacify me and make her feel better about divorcing. I have zero expectations. If anything positive comes out of it, I'd be shocked.
So you know MC is a waste .... why go? IMHO I would cancel or just not show up, if asked why I would tell her no sense going to MC when there is an active 3rd party, when she is TRULY ready to work on the M you will know, she will know, that time is not right now. Going to MC knowing its all for nothing would only harm possible MC down the road when you both are all in and wanting to work on things, otherwise its a "Well we already tried MC and it didn't work out so whats the use" type attitude.
Just my opinion, I would not go ... my time is more valuable than to put up a front that the M is being worked on while she is off with OM till whenever.
I was going to go in there and state that wife wants a divorce and doesn't want to work on our marriage and I'l like to talk about how we're going to break it to our daughter and live together until our house is sold and we can move on.
I was going to go in there and state that wife wants a divorce and doesn't want to work on our marriage and I'l like to talk about how we're going to break it to our daughter and live together until our house is sold and we can move on.
Does this sound crazy?
MC in theory is to help work on the MR, or if you choose a bad MC, they give permission to D.
Why do you think an MC is a good place to talk about that?
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Honestly, I haven't had a real conversation with my wife regarding our situation. No more than 15 minutes combined in two conversations. I was hoping being in a neutral location can get her to talk a bit more.
