Focus on Me and the Boys 9

[J5K]

So I spoke with the psychologist that did the eval. She is upset that I am changing gears but understands the financial portion. She is upset that both of us adopted 5 boys. I stated that I understood and talked to STBX about the risk of doing that but that never stopped STBX from moving forward with the adoption. Psychologist said she is concerned on how STBX will raise the boys, I agreed and said that is out of my control when she has them.

I also spoke with my L after. I guess the court forced STBX to do proofs today and so a judgment will be finalized within 21 days. L advised I do not bring the custody change up until the judgment is complete, I agreed.

I also spoke to DB coach yesterday. He understood my financial concern and said that if I do speak with her about changing custody around that I should just tell her it took me time to process and that I now understand her POV and leave it at that and see what STBX says.

It is clear to me now that STBX has had this planned for sooooo long. I let emotions dictate my actions. The best thing I can do at this point is ensure my boys are financially stable. STBX will only be able to save the money that she gets from the subsidy and child support from me to provide to them in the future. I will be able to contribute from my salary. I pray that she and I can give them the love and attention that they need.

I understand that most everyone that will read this post will not like or agree with what I am doing and I understand that. I truly do feel like it is the best thing though even if that means me sacrificing some time with the boys. My heart hurts so much just thinking about what I am doing. That is what got me into this mess in the first place. It is not a bad thing that people act on how their heart feels but it may result in poor decisions and actions.