The Fight For Self III

[CT1118]

CT-- how are you?

You won an award in my book a long time ago....

I agree. I am a summer 2016 and you guys have helped me through a lot. I always feel better when I come here to read others sitch or get advice on my own. CT you are amazing!!

Thank you all, quite seriously, thank you. I don't try to be, but it really means a whole lot to have support from my friends here. I don't feel amazing right now, I feel really exhausted...with almost everything. As in literally tired, not fed up.

I believe I am mostly good. My attitude is still quite positive. Between work, graduate school, being a father, my sitch etc - I am just worn out. I commented on SH_'s thread not that long ago about how my daily new, fresh, and exciting GAL's tasks had come to an end - mostly because Graduate school at night fills up every minute not at work or with son - and that this summer left me really tired emotionally. It was exciting and tragic at the same time.

I downloaded some divorce paperwork this week. Started filling it out. I know why I did it, but divorce is still not what I want. F -it. I am not sad. I am not happy. I still feel great about me. Just in a place where I am wondering if this has all gone as far as it will go and I am not sure I feel bad or scarred. I'm disappointed, you know?

Usually don't write like this. Guessing someone will pick up on it. Tired, not much sleep in past two days. Hungry, not much food either.

"When the time comes,
let us lay down in the forest
so birds in their bellies,
may carry our forgotten pieces
above the tree line and into the night."