I think my wife is in MLC and it seems hopeless

[SBJ]

We have been together for 25 years and married for 22. 20 years ago we were working in separate cities and kind of living like singles...I partied with friends and she admitted to an affair. We reconciled and then a year later we had my oldest. We have since had 2 other children and countless pets. We have the picture perfect marriage...on the outside. We just have differences of opinions as to our intimacy. I have always been Hyper-sexual and she has always, been Hypo-sexual...at least since we had kids.

Now I have a college student, a high schooler, and a elementary aged child.

The last 3 months have been a roller coaster. She started by saying that she doesn't feel that our marriage is the way it should be. She says that she feels like we are roommates and best friends, but that she doesn't feel that we have an intimate relationship. We went on a trip with some long time friends of mine and their wives and my wife said that their wives treated them differently than she does me. She went to a convention for high school students with my daughter and said that their explanation of how marriage and relationships should be didn't define ours. She has always been not very physical sexually, but now says that she wants and needs that desire, but she just doesn't want it from me.

Our counselor told me to stop calling and texting her 2 months ago, so I wait until she calls or texts me...hard since we used to do that alot.

We are still in the same house. We still sleep in the same bed. She and the counselor have set physical boundaries for me...I cannot touch her. Our only physical contact is holding hands during the Our Father at church...I can't wait each week.

6 years ago, she had a female surgery that had a 50/50 shot of sex either being good or painful...we got the painful. She would bare with it once a month for me, but that created some resentment. Sex isn't painful any longer, but she still seems to resent me and has no desire for me.

She began to work out this year and is even more smokin' hot than before...abs and all. We were working out and eating better this year and seemed, at least to me to heading in a great path. She is a rock solid 110# and I have lost 35#'s this year and am feeling better physically than I have since high school. Not bad for almost 46.

We both work for her families business...separate locations, but same company.

Hobbies...I do scouting stuff with my boys, play golf, hunt and fish, but not on a weekly basis. Our lives have been wrapped around our kids for the last 19 years. She and I attend different gyms, but I have not been able to go and enjoy it for a little while. I try and run 4-5 days a week, but I have not really been able to enjoy it. I am training for a Tough Mudder next year with a group of high school buddies...should be a blast.

Enter the EA with a relatively new family friend...April-July '16. July is also when she shut the door to me. This bastard is a mind fu@&*ing piece of $#!^. I have grown to despise him, but I feel I let the wolf into the hen house.

I have decided that no matter what has transpired, I will have the ability to forgive her. My problem is that it seems that she is getting more angry at me daily, because I am not giving in to the fact that she wants out. I am usually the guy that gives her what she asks for, but this is actually something that is worth fighting for...and it is pissing her off.

I'm the kind of guy that will give into things if they really don't make a difference to me or my life, but I'll be damned if I will be pushed around if something is super important. I take my marriage vows seriously. For better or worse...and right now it feels like we are in the storm of our lives.