Here we go again....

[matw]

So last night something interesting happened... I went to pick up my kids from the daycare at the gym my wife works at. As we are leaving for some god awful reason I tell her I missed her today. She then says oh yeah, "D and I had a very busy day today" From some reason her answer just makes me angry and wasn't what I wanted to hear. Then I blurt out, "You could at least say it.. just be nice to hear" She looked at me sort of confused and I say, "Sorry I just have a lot of things on my mind that we can talk about this weekend"

I get the kids in the car and see I have a text message from her -

W - So whats going on?
M - I just have a lot going on in my mind and I apologize just sort of bubbled up there for a second. I didn't mean to sound snappy if I did
W - No your ok. You can tell me later

Obviously I didn't want to bring it up while she is working and I am avoiding the R talks as much as possible. I just couldn't help it for some reason. This was probably the first time I felt anger.. not just sadness about the sitch but actual anger. For a split second I didn't want to work on my M and all I could think about was I will not live like this. I feel that I need to get to that place without the anger but with detachment. So I am not sure what I will say to her this weekend if she brings it up....

So W had a girls night out with one of best friends at a local bar here. She came home from work and I drove her over to the bar to meet up. That way if she took Lyft she wouldn't have to worry about her car today. She posted a FB picture of her and her friend at the place around 1030. I took a benedryl because I knew I would have a hard time falling asleep. I woke up a little after 1 am to a text saying - On my way home. This was strange because a few months ago when we were doing good I had told her that I didn't sleep well when she went out and it was nice when she texted me when she was on her way home so I knew she was safe. Since we have been having issues she hasn't done this at all. For some reason she felt the need to do it last night. Not looking to much into it just thought it was interesting. She came home a bit intoxicated and we talked about her night and how much fun she had. Then off to bed for both of us.

This morning I woke up and got my kids ready. Then drove them over to my fathers house so he could take my S9 & S10 to school and watch my D3 for the day. This will be a normal thing once my W moves to her apartment. We have already decided I would have them Thurs and Friday nights because of work and workout schedules. Other days are still up in the air right now.