The idea of exposing the A is a very disagreed step on this site. Many people stand on each side of the fence on that subject, so you just need to think it through.
In your circumstance, I think I agree with Tx in that I would expose it, here's why: 1. He lives far, so the likelihood of them both moving out and moving in together is unlikely (but you never know, 1/2hr extra commute to work for each if the move in middle).
2. The Liklihood of them seeing each other frequently and building the R is small (but you gotta remember that if they know both spouses know they may feel they don't need to hide it anymore, and she may walk out the door and tell you I'm going to meet OM, I'll see you tomorrow).
3. Your not exposing it to family or people in both of your lives, so it won't likely make it harder to piece your M back together if she decides to choose you.
The thing with exposing is that they will both be having tough times at home with their spouses, which may push them towards each other. Your hoping he will choose his W and kids over your W, but remember, he is Wayward too, so he may not choose to stay with kids.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
