Detached, getting along better, but in limbo....

[Surfer]

You are there for your kids, they will know that wherever you sit. You are still looking at her and what she does rather than doing what you want! You were doing well a few weeks back but as you have said you have back peddled. I get it and understand it, it's easy to do especially when you are looking for anything, any scrap that she might throw out. Work on getting back to the Surfer of a few weeks ago.

I get this but it seems so wrong for them not to see M and D standing together for them. See previous post. I do need to detach again. Going to read some detachment threads again later.

You are there for your kids, they will know that wherever you sit. You are still looking at her and what she does rather than doing what you want! You were doing well a few weeks back but as you have said you have back peddled. I get it and understand it, it's easy to do especially when you are looking for anything, any scrap that she might throw out. Work on getting back to the Surfer of a few weeks ago.

My W has done similar things but I do what I want, we were meeting up to go to our sons soccer tournament. She arrived and beckoned with her head for me to come over to her, I didn't, I stood my ground and if she had something important to say she knew where I was. She came over to me and started speaking German, I know what she said but just ignored it with a smile on my face and spoke English to her. It's her ego in overdrive and her look at me attitude. The whole tournament, I played with my son and had no interest in going over to her. She became the one lingering or moving towards me.

This is good. However, my W is different. V passive aggressive and would just like to stand with MIL and FIL showing the joyous laughing person she wants to portray. I just think it's a bit sick really. It's almost like she gets a kick out of being cruel. Weird. W just avoids all communication in front of others. She used to do this when she was still living at H. We would have family round and she would be all smiles and laughs with me then would totally ghost anything I said. It's teenager behaviour really but it wasn't until I read about DB that I learned to stop chasing for the attention. I have slipped back. But I am back in the DB saddle.

Si I really appreciate your comments. You have really made me think through things and get my head around the wobble I have experienced lately.

I am going to go back to journaling and focusing on me and the kids.

Surfer.