Doing a lot of mulling things over, which is uncharacteristic of me now.
I mean, I did, initially obsess trying to work out what was going on and why...oh, probably the first month or so. Maybe even two months. But then I was so incredibly busy and tired with work the third month after, that it really helped cut through that rumination.
Whenever I catch myself now, I stop myself.
Anyway...something I don't understand and would value any thoughts on.
So, the BD on 30 May 2013, my H told me that he couldn't see a future together. I now, retrospectively, understand that he'd started the EA (maybe PA) about 8 months previously. I guess I begged and pleaded at that point..the usual. He stayed. I started on a kind of instinctive period of 'improving myself', made a lot of changes. I now understand that he made none, as he wasn't really committed to 'working' on either our M or himself. So he stood and just half heartedly watched by the sidelines effectively.
Post BD 11 October 2015, when he texts me to say that it's best if we separate (without any discussion at all about what that actually means, in the nitty gritty...him stopping paying the mortgage, him applying for a D etc, etc...nothing on that front has been discussed or resolved) he says that I have made a number of 'startling changes', but that he still hadn't fallen back in love with me.
I was wondering what one earth that was all about?
And very weirdly, I just went to look at the text message he wrote, but he's deleted pretty much everything that he wrote...the entire text message...everything he ever wrote before and after that he wrote to me.
