New LBH with WAW/possibly WW, need help.

[nutts]

Well, Coconut, I didn't read your post before I talked to her tonight. You have some great points, and I have to agree with you. I need to get into that way of thinking. Thank you for the words of truth.

Journaling:

I played with my son after work, had dinner with him, and watched some cartoons before bath, all the while W was with us. No serious talk, just small talk. I bathed him and read to him (it was my night for that), then my W and I watched a TV program.

Afterwards, I asked her #1, would she continue to wash clothes (I'm getting low on T-Shirts, and I wanted to make sure she continued), she said yes, of course.

#2, I asked her what was her plan for her, and she said not real sure, but we'll need to talk about budget for when she moves out. We had talked about this a bit, and she' not real interested in renting right now, she wants to buy a house, which I think is an awful idea for many reasons (least of which deals with our possible reconciliation), but anyway. That's probably a bit a way I think (hope).

#3, Finally, I said, I just want to say one thing, the thing that really hurts me is you aren't willing to fight for our marriage. She gives me some crap about "didn't I tell you I wasn't happy about you playing on your computer" (she did, many years ago, before son, we got past it) "didn't I tell you a I wasn't real happy about our sex life" (she did, many years ago before our son). She says I had my chances.

I said, BS, what you should have done is, for those months before this that you were so unhappy, told me "H, I'm very unhappy, I can't live like this much longer. If you don't change A and B, I don't think I can continue to be married to you."

She just looked at me for a bit then said, "Well, you can lay the blame for that on me, that's fine." I just shrugged and left, and came down to tell my story here.

My guess is the Affair is the driving force behind her acting like this, I just need to re-iterate that to me. God it hurts to think about...

Tomorrow, our son is staying with my Mom (she loves to keep him), and W and I will be alone. If she asks me about going out to dinner, just us 2 (a possibility), would it be bad to go? My non-DB-reading self would go, but I think it might be better not to, and try and secure something with a friend instead. How to turn her down if she does ask?

As always, I really appreciate you guys taking your time to read my story and offer advice to a stranger, it means a lot.