msp ... Concerning the A, or perceived A whatever you would like to call it.
You are at a crossroads here, you can fuel up and focus on that A/OM all minutes and hours of the day if you choose, where is this going to get you? Do not get me wrong, I did the same thing for far to long, all that wasted energy I should have applied towards what I called the Cali 2.0 campaign. Bottom line ... what do you want to do? Lets just accept your W is a WAW and involved in the EA/PA. You can not control her actions, this choice is hers and not reflective on you nor what you need to do now. Like I suggested earlier .... Sandi's 37, DB your arse off. You have to regain your sense of self and that will be impossible with wasting your time focused on where she is and with who.
The anger you feel is a good thing in this situation IF you apply it to get you over to the other side. Become a man only a fool would leave, the more you pursue and chase after her with the "Where were you, who were you with" the more she will run and feed you lies just because she can.
Pull back, GAL, PMA, 180 in there areas YOU chose and at some point do not be afraid to do your thing over what she wants you to do. You have a say in this .. much more than you realize.
