I am sorry that you are here. You have been given a ton of homework to do – I suggest that you take your time and read the information SLOWLY. Post questions on your thread that you may have about any portion of the question.
In addition to your homework – BREATH. It is not over until YOU say it is!
I have a few questions….
1) Who agreed to get a small apartment? 2) You mentioned that your W moved to a new place – are you still in the martial home?
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2 weeks later it was called a lapse in judgement and she wanted a divorce. She randomly googles an attorney but, as far as I know nothing has been filed.
DB101 – believe none of what they say and half of what they do. As for her googling an attny – how did you find that out?
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She's been having a PA/EA for over a year with my former bestfriend. I was told before while in MC that if I made her choose, that I wouldn't be happy.
DB101.1 – FOR NOW (now being the key word) – learn to STFU (that means Shut the * up). Keep pushing and you will are going to get an answer that RIGHT NOW you are not ready for. So…as pberta suggested….start focusing more on YOURSELF and on DETACHING. And before you respond with…if I do that she just tell me I am being selfish again or how will she see my changes if I detach and STFU….. I can tell you NOW that those answers will come later.
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it's now to the point where the kids are being affected.
Be the kids rock of consistence and normal – DO NOT use them as excuses. Before you tell me your not….we’ll get into this later too.
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I've read DB 4 times.
Ummm…reading and doing are two different things.
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Spoke with a coach. And enrolled in LRT web program. I still feel lost.
Normally these things take time and WORK….LOTS of WORK. If you are trying to purchase the solution – you may be disappointed.
Right now…the only thing YOU need to do (beside taking care of those kids) is 1) Read all of the homework 2) ask questions 3) detach 4) GAL and 5) do not beg her and 6) learn to STFU.
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It still feels hopeless.
Well if you have that attitude….chances are your not going to achieve your goals, which believe it or not – may change.
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Yesterday we even planned a little trip with the kids for later in the month but, then see she's searched for the attorney this am! I don't get it!
Her trying to be a parent (regardless of how you might feel about that right now) is SEPARATE from wanting to divorce YOU.
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Feels like an impossible battle.
It may today – tomorrow is another day. DB101 – take things day by day, moment by moment, live in the moment.
Finally, what else can you tell me about YOU and the M. What complaints did your W have?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
